My Lost Heart
by KairiM
Summary: One-Shot based after Skins: Fire. She couldn't live without her. Warning! Contains suicide and dark content.


So I never thought I would ever write anything for or based around Skins Fire since it was so horrible, but I had a few drinks tonight and I've been feeling pretty emotional and this randomly came to me so I thought I would at least write it, and decided to post it whilst still in my slightly tipsy state.

I will warn you all now that this one shot is sad and somewhat depressing. It also contains suicide so please don't read this if it will upset or offend you. Otherwise, I hope you guys enjoy it and I apologise if it isn't brilliant. I'm not the best writer after consuming alcohol!

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The packet of pills – the route to my escape – were no more than three feet away from me. I focused on the blue box, staring at it if it were my last lifeline when in fact, it was the exact opposite.

I could do this. The bottle of vodka in my hand was more than enough to wash the tablets down my throat, and then it wouldn't be long until this was all over.

Then I would finally be with my love.

After the girl whom I had fallen in love with at the age of fourteen had passed away in my arms after her excruciating battle against cancer, my heart and soul died with her. I knew from that moment – that awful, life changing moment – that there was no way in this world that I could live this life without seeing her heart warming smile ever again. Nothing could compare to the pain I felt within my chest, the place where my heart used to beat for her.

It was as though every colour in the universe had faded to the dullest shades of grey. The things that once made this world seem so bright and beautiful were now cold and ugly. The path I once walked, sparking memories from a happier time ceased to exist, causing nothing but gut wrenching agony.

I was numb to all of the things that surrounded me until I tried to see her face amongst the haze, and then it was very much real. Each and every particle within me ached with loss, and pined for the warmth of her body in my arms.

I now understood what it meant to die of a broken heart.

In the back of my mind, sometimes I could picture her hand held in my own. Her skin was still soft beneath my trembling fingertips and her laugh was still like music to my ears.

My love for her would never die, could never be extinguished. She had started a fire within me all those years ago, and it could never be tamed.

I slumped forward – my body heavy with alcohol – as I crawled towards my bedside cabinet. With each step closer, my mind became certain. The tears that stained my cheeks had stilled, persistence had given me hope. I would see her face again.

I reached out, my hand folding around the cardboard box. With each second that passed, I pushed the pills out of the foil packet and into my hand.

I stared at them blankly, almost wishing that it didn't have to come to this. It should have never been this way. But I had no other choice. This was my final decision.

I laid down upon my bedroom floor, the empty box and bottle beside me. A breath pushed heavily from my lungs as I closed dense eyelids, casting a veil of darkness which would soon consume me.

A soft smile graced my lips as one lone tears trickled from the corner of my eye. I was ready to let go.

Time ticked by, a ghostly warmth enveloped my body and I opened my eyes one last time, knowing that this was it.

She sat above me. Her platinum blonde hair styled in the exact same pixie cut that she had when we first met. Her ocean blue eyes, still as captivating as I remembered, watched me with sadness. A delicate smile, one that she'd only show to me made my lost heart throb once again. Tears flowed from my eyes.

"Don't be sad." Her silky voice whispered to me, sending chills through me.

"I'm not. I'm happy now." I replied softly.

She held her hand out before me as she rose to her feet, towering over me just like she always used to. I accepted it, my hand slipping into hers perfectly as though they were crafted to only fit each others. Her skin felt like the finest strands of silk, and to touch it again made my insides quiver.

"You didn't have to do this." She said, sounding and looking somewhat guilty as if this was her fault.

I cupped her face in my hands, stroking the pads of my thumbs across her pale cheeks.

"I wanted to. No...I needed to. I love you, Naomi." I reassured her desperately, afraid that if I didn't tell her now then she would slip through my fingers once again.

She smiled, tears welling up in her eyes as if she was relieved to hear those words. Naomi pulled me in, our lips locking in a passionate kiss, our hearts reuniting as one.

We pulled away and Naomi took my hand in hers, our fingers interlocking as she pulled me out of my bedroom, stepping over the still body on the floor.

"I love you, too." She replied gently.

I smiled, feeling like I was finally free.

"Yeah, I know."

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Your thoughts and opinions would be very much appreciated. I'm not exactly good at writing one shots, this is my first attempt. I hope it wasn't too sad and depressing guys. I love Naomily, Skins Fire should have never happened!

Lots of love,

KairiM.


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